10:47 PM
im begging for sleep like hell man
cant control keep sleeping
dont get it why?
these day i notice
my baby tries hard to be good
well
i understand...but feel so guilty..
i dont know what should i do
i dont want to give up on this
but the power is pushing me to do this
i love him
yes i did!
i love him like hell much deeper
just like fell into the black hole
its endless
now its night at my place
no star...or else i cant see the moon
more loneliness
i sigh..
i hug my pillow with his picture at there
looking outside
thats all can say is
"lonely"
the only can stop me crying issleep
study
remember that he said that :
"remember that i always love you"
"i wont give up on this relatioship"
"i will always hold ur hand go through everything"
well..those words keep on my mind
and the worst is.
i need to cheer up by myself
well its pain when u bite ur tongue
u cant even talk
haizzz
so many sadness thing happen right now
but i have to be strong?
i using my nokia 5800 since april until now
well for me kinda long
but i dun want to change phone yet
in love-ing with it already
say until nothing to say already
and who the fuck can call me now
i will thanks that person who call me now
:(
p.s:baby i miss you );
well i back to my study roleactually i got so many works so rush and do
but i dun have the mood
teacher tried to scare me that
i will lose at lease
50++ marks for my work
moral work also
not even touch it
even though should rush it...
my granparent birthday dinner
are coming on saturday
so many ppl prepare for me
dress me up
make my messy hair done maybe?
make up?
i dont know?
but i know is...
my baby.i need him now...
at lease let me bring him to the party pls..
he want to join too :'(
but i cant
for stupid family rule
many cousin called me
"BREAK THE FUCKING RULES!"
i asked them back
"Do you fucking dare to break thr rules?"
do you know what they said?
"Gila ke?i wont ok?"
so?
whats the different that i break the rules a not
hell waste my time a lot
and i cant get fucking why
why my hair are not growing :(
still the same
fuck it up!
i know i swear so much
thanks for so patience to read my rude blog
BUT I PROMISE ONLY FOR TODAY!
my cousin keep calling me do those thing
that i dont even found in my family history
means that
no people dare to break the rules
haizzz
should i?
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