self confession.
5:12 PM
My 2011 really changes a lot in my life,i feel like things just change in any second that you never thought.
i am actually terrified right now.i feel like there is no sparks in my life.i feel died by doing the same things everyday.wish to have a car but i do not have a fuck gut to discuss with my dad because i don't think i am aw well driving person at all,which i got this car licence for my past mystery man.but in the end i din't get to use it and i got dumped.life is such a bitch.true and i agree it and i seriously emo right now.
i miss my smile i used to smile like a little girl all the time but life forced me to be so mature when i can't even be, unfair and Fuck My Lovely Life.
just thinking and wondering why am i so emo nowadays...i feel like my soul falling apart by slowly and i have no idea what to do to continue make my life better,i feel so tired,not sleepy,i am just tired of life,thinking of suicide before but it just too stupid because who knows one day..i will be better?but when?
Been faking my smile so long when i am darn fucking emo,just in college in family with friends i also smiling and i guess my friend notice why am i so over react and laugh for no reason,i need to visit a therapist because i am terrified that i have some mental problem right now because i am so nerve broke down and i have no idea how to continue or stop
i wish i could scream and yell with tears whatever i can but i just can't squeeze any tears anymore because i am hurting too deeply..i can't seem to accept all the things been happening in life,yes it maybe just sucks for a while or forever?how i know?and i am so so sad :'(
so friends of mine and family of mine who interest reading this.
i am going to tell you,i can't really cry it out my feeling by mouth because i am too hurt right now.
if you see i am fine,trust me,i am so proud of myself because i can fake it so good.
i am slowly dying inside.
God, safe me from pain please.i need your hand to help me get out such a painful place and memories.
:'(
xoxo
i am going to hong kong while november. i hope i can just throw away my feeling and get to travel like i used to be.and i don't need to cry anymore.stay strong angeline.stay alive.
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