11:22 PM
lately just fine..what i been doing is being emotional,i decided with myself choose to close up about my relationship status now,no point for letting anybody knows,am i engaged?am i dating or am i even single or drill in a complicated relationship?not important anymore and nobody will get a answer,caught me dating?whatever,spot a ring on my finger?you can stay curious forever,because i had learnt a new lesson,my family is a type of family to educated their children by being good image to let people not know much of my family,i decided,ever since my father look into my eyes and said his speechless,i do cried and knowing my life has to change now,whatever i did is mistake for them,which is my family,i have to stop giving people to have chance to gossip about me and my parent,my life is complicated enough and what happened around me is not good,life is just like that,you can't learn it from book but experiences,i experienced gossip,bitch fight from older cousin,not really a bitch fight but "teaching me a lesson"by what i should tell or what i shouldn't tell but surprise me a lot this she can't even teach her sister this well,i love my family even i feel like hating them somehow,i can exactly tell you that both of my parent don't know the inner me,they judge by what they see,whenever they said “you are my daughter of course i know who you are even you try to hide the real you."well,i have to 100% sure they don't know that another type of me,i am a girl who give whatever i can in everything,even there is people don't know how to appreciated me but i just don't feel like fighting back just to let them know how important that my character is.i learnt,i taste the pain of losing something i want the most,i have brain,i know who know and i know who don't know me.i just have to say,i'm loving all the people but i have to say whatever happened during my semester break had just become a huge impact of my life.i learnt to be quiet,learnt to stop being "too" open minded,let me remind my dear reader one more time,i love my family even they judge me wrong sometimes and i love whoever appear in my life even you're of of my haters,i don't hate you because i don't have much time to be as free as you.
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Semester two is coming on next monday,class starts very soon and i actually feel glad to do that because staying home and doing nothing being lifeless just wasting my time.
if my sem break can be monthly like 1 or 3 months i sure getting a part time job,but my sem break just very little,only 2 weeks...
and my car test is on next wednesday.today is the day of learning car but i just...
a bit shitty nervous and wow i am so dead..next tuesdays is my day already.i hope monday i can practice gao gao..adn practice the exam scene..
so please do pray for me..i don't wanna fail this time..
*finger cross*
goodnight,loves xoxo
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